THE ART OF CONVERSATION

Let’s face it, conversation is our primary mode of communication with other people. Few other skills are as important to a successful career, or a happy home. Your success depends as much on your ability to speak as it does on your professional ability to do the job. In fact, studies have shown that a successful salesperson’s earning power is tied directly to their ability to communicate.

One of the biggest challenges people face in becoming skilled conversationalists is to chose what to talk about. Why? Because You have little chance of keeping a persons attention unless your subject is of interest to them.

Most conversations begin with, “Hi. How are you today.” Of course, the expected answer is, “Fine.” However, most often, the person asking the question could not care less how the other person actually is. The next comment to come up is usually about the weather, “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

If you want to avoid situations like these, and be interesting, you must give your listener an interesting verbal handle to grab onto. How? By finding out exactly what the other person wants, or what they like to talk about.

I’ve found that the quickest way to grab someone's attention and hold it is to pay them a compliment. People love to feel important in some way. When you pay a compliment you feed their ego, they feel important and like you right away.

There are three major points to remember:

1. You will never get their interest unless you know exactly what the other person wants.

2. You will never accomplish your objectives unless you stop thinking about what you want from that person and concentrate entirely on what you can do for them.

3. You must discover their secret motivators. What turns them on. Only then will you be in a position to guide the conversation to your benefit.

Never start a conversation by just saying, “Hello.” Your goal is to get their interest immediately. Try using statements like:

“That’s a great tie your wearing.”

“What a terrific suit.”

“That is a beautiful dress.”

“You have such a beautiful name.”

“I have heard nothing but good things about you.”

“You come highly recommended.”

Or, you might try something more specific:

“I’ve always wished that I understood more about the internet. Can you tell me how you went about developing your web site?”

“I’ve never seen such great shoes before. Can you tell me where you bought them?”

A man recently approached me after a speech and said, “I understand you are the world’s greatest networker.” Do you think he got my attention? Be creative and make them feel terrific!

Another great idea is to use topic teasers to open conversations. Look through the paper or magazines for topical, current topics. However, always avoid controversial subjects.

If you get the other person to talk about themselves, you will find their desires. Here is the way:

1. Be sincerely interested in them.

2. Be a good listener. INSIGHT - A key to becoming a good listener is to exercise patience.

3. Encourage the person to talk about himself or herself. Ask leading questions to get them started.

4. Always talk in terms of their interest, so you can find out what they want.

In my studies of top salespeople, I have found that being an interesting, as well as an interested conversationalist are commonly shared attributes.